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15. The Devil

A goat man disguised as your grandma brings a birthday cake to his twin babies. The children are chained up and restricted under the judgement of the goat man mom and only fed frosted sugar cakes. The torment is the one can’t intake food because it only breathes out, and the other can only eat if its on the floor, and when its set down its just out of reach and your Mind Troll eats it all up. Your frustration and sadness may be a result of an illusion you have trapped yourself in. It should be easier to escape than you think

"There is no escape!"

course of action: don’t eat cake

Why am I making… #1

Why am I making… Cinder Rubble?

After just reading many of Miyazaki’s notes on his movies, proposals for making them, synopsis, and character descriptions, in his book Starting Point 1979-1996, I inevitably have to wonder why I’m making a movie. In most projects there is always a time where I’m thinking about what it means or even doubting why I am doing it and what I could be doing instead. I am a month in a half on production of the Cinder Rubble short, which in the beginning was meant to be a small piece within another short called Waiting For The Toast To Toast, but instead I think the small piece in that should be “The Man Who Talked To the Moon”. I think a year ago and a few months Cinder Rubble was a live puppet show and a month before that it was a string of pleasing combined words “Cinder Rubble” and a few minutes or hours or days or even seconds before that it was a pile of rubble lit in a dark empty shop under construction, glimpsed as I passed by in a van full of friends. A few more steps back in time somewhere in a lined notebook  it was an ink and watercolor illustration of a moon person who fell in a chunk from the moon to the earth and walked the earth, with a whisper of “moon diary 2”. Across from the page was another page with a cool running lizard man, who faultily rendered and more accessorized does a “slammy d” in the iji video “to figure out the party”. Not to be intentionally profound and still being realized, Cinder Rubble is Moon Diary 2. 

I threw the puppet show together pretty quickly, I was invited to do a small tour and a week before that a small quiet house show, and I just felt like the words were still pleasing to me and I could do it. In my head it was a fairytale about a cinder block chunk that came to life, and had a profound journey along the banks of a river among crumbly granite, concrete, mud, broken glass, grasses, sticks, trees, various trash, and wildlife. Specifically along the Sacramento river, on a partly cloudy light rainy day in december, early and quiet, lonely, fearful of death, ready for life, and walking for so long. This was an experience I had in Sacramento, that same night I retold the tale before my puppet show set in Oakland and it seemed to move the audience. Thinking of Cinderella and the Frog Prince, and my own experience I thought I had something I could do that would be of value. I just didn’t know what it was until I just sketched some images on a paper …and did multiple writing sessions and retellings and analyzing over a few days. Then I made puppets, and foolishly/bravely/nervously purchased a live lobster, and created an order of events and did the first show. Then I reworked and added a few elements and a week later did three more shows, sadly the lobster, known as an immortal creature, died by the second show of that tour. I was lucky to have friends to help with the shows, setting them up, controlling puppets, improvising lines, improvising music, letting me sleep and work in their living room, and even showing up to help make some puppets and most fortunately people came and sat through it. Instantly after this, I mean not even a second after the show had ended, I became so caught up in the idea of romance and made my best attempts and had my biggest falls focusing on that. It fueled much of my work, sometimes reaching that perfect stride of inspired love and sharing creativity, radiant like a star, and unfortunately finding the opposite burning out big time. I can’t really pinpoint reason or blame for the bad stuff, but the biggest part being lack of communication and faith in myself.

  Now I’ve wandered back to Cinder Rubble, a conscious piece of the moon. It seemed like a good starting point in my idea for an even bigger project and I am five and a half weeks in. I will draw upon what I’ve been reading. Miyazaki says “it is important for us not to lose sight of the fact that animation should above all belong to children, and that truly honest works for children will also succeed with adults.” I think that could somehow relate to something i just read in a book from my grandma’s stack that said “if you get the man right you get the world right”. Another quote from this little quote calendar says something like faith and honesty should be above vast intellect, and belief in deep mysteries. Which comes face to face with a quote from a Ken Kesey poster I saw a few weeks ago, where he states that mysteries are greater than answers. Another point Miyazaki repeats a few times is about how the work used to be centered around the problem of poverty, but now its less about material poverty and more about spiritual poverty. I kind of interpret spiritual poverty, as lacking in spirit, and spirit being linked to healthy socialization, feeling good, feeling love, feeling healthy, feeling alive. Here’s where I can say I don’t have any answers, but I think there is something in my life and in the story of Cinder Rubble that relates to this.

It seems like something my professors and teachers would have wanted me to edit out but I want to use the phrase “lets see if I can put it in words”. I most certainly would have gotten this writing handed back to me with many red marks, question marks, critical words of befuddlement, and some slight encouragement that has kept me going to this day. Oh “the slight encouragement” thats what this is about, that didn’t take very long to find and I thought I was going on a tangent. I don’t plan on editing this. That may change to “I didn’t plan on editing this but…” 

Lets start over, Miyazaki repeats this phrase “People are Irredeemable” I have no idea what that means and I don’t care.

Okay there’s something about how the moon receives the light from the sun and reflects it. There’s something with a pun… Cinder and Sender and Receiver. There’s something about how light and life are related, with the sun, and rock and life are related with the earth. Water is beautiful. There’s a story in plants. Plant it, planet, plan it. In the garden of Eden there’s a snake, it bites Cinder Rubble, its like it doesn’t even matter anymore, does it? Oh the bible is made of stories from people and pages from plants! Have you watched the Cosmos? Why am I on a computer? its a nice day out, it seemed like a good tool for communicating. Why would I finish this project? Seems interesting maybe I will. 

This is about the maximum stretch of my brain on this topic at this point. It comes down to receiving the signals of life, choosing from various signals of life, and hoping I’ve found good ones and sending out the good ones as best as I can. Also not knowing what each moment will bring. Thats about when I spent the rest of the day with family and planting vegetables and herbs. Now its a bit later. I was trying to take a nap and felt to physically uncomfortable so my thoughts led me back to unfinished work. The most annoying machine sound is out my window and its gone.

I spent a lot of my childhood alone playing video games and watching tv, its probably unhealthy in a lot of ways, but I don’t regret it and I still find value in those mediums. There were mostly voices against it when I was growing up and I thought they didn’t offer much as substitute other than criticism. I’m not sure of any effects from that, I know I’ve been inept in some fundamental life skill ways, but feel balancing out as time passes. I remember a few weird times noticing I could speak more engaged and confidently in conversation while I was playing video games. Today though I do feel awkward about video games and tech and mass production. Of course various articles and news stories reveal the imbalance in technology privilege between the people who consume and the people who produce and cant afford to consume. The film Manufactured Landscapes stands out in my mind and stories about apple over the last few years, and smog clouds. With every advancement it seems like they tuck in a little in certain places and thats the focus of the sell, but there are also the seeping spills. I have had the same cell phone for years, I can see through it in parts, I’ve used it a lot too, but it does get phased out frequently, kept on silent and almost nothing outgoing. I’m not advocating anything, but I recommend experimenting with usage limits and purpose, for example I’ve spent a lot of time improvising nice poems to people. I do think minimal is best, and safety first. Doing anything on a phone while driving is beyond my comprehension mostly because I’m able to do fine without driving. This brings me to the camera and the computer in which I am making my movie. I received my camera from my dad sometime after I made Moon Diary, he must have just guessed I was interested in making movies, but I was so afraid of computers and technology at the time, I was shocked by it. It stayed in the box for years and didn’t really come out for anything. I didn’t even think my computer could maintain the software to edit anything, and I didn’t have any money at the time. I was also just getting stoked on drawing comics and doing live performance and trying to act with a small ecological footprint. My dad also gave me his old MacBook pro. I think it must have been my friend Charlie who gave me the software for editing at some point too which I luckily rediscovered a few weeks into this project. Miyazaki talks about making movies for young people who are in between dealing with the pressure of dependence and independence. And many themes in his movies are ecologically based, with the hope to remind or show that nature is beautiful. I think I’m on board for all of these things. I think I see my work being about changing focus, redistributing energy, creating positive change. With respect to independence and ecology, and not without cheerful whimsy and surreal beauty, some kind of poetry and hopefulness too. The work is prayer to inspiration. The inspiration is a response to life. I feel like there is more for me to learn about audience and spectators. What links and separates a church gathering, a concert gathering and a theater gathering. Once you receive the messages what do you do? Experience and preference. Receptiveness. Evocation. We live in an interesting time. I’m interested in creating a unifying message of peace. I went to a neighborhood meeting right before I started this project and it was really tense but I told everyone one of my dreams, it felt good and I felt accepted and I could have talked to everyone there one on one, I really liked all the aspects even the really intense angry people with horror stories. One person announced the fact that here in the U.S. we have the fewest public meeting places and high rates of violence and crime, that these are linked and we are strangers and afraid of our neighbors. This most be linked to the spiritual poverty. I’m excited to have a voice and to share it through making a movie and talking about making the movie, because if these things are linked it must help in unification somehow. Like if I show my movie to my family and we are all together in a room, its a positive step. And taking it to the Hollywood theater and showing it through Gridlords it will be a public gathering of people in portland and many of them will also be artists. And the more I create and present the more chance it has to grow a positive peaceful community. The more I am in the world and receiving the messages and experiences I become more understanding of the world around me, and with understanding comes an increase of possible peaceful outcomes for my creations. Like in the poem at the beginning of Moon Diary “nothing hangs over us but words we made up” referring to the lines in the poem being made up, the power of words we use to define our world, and the mystery of nothingness.  

I’m glad that Cinder Rubble has a mini movie about a seagull in it and now features a scene from a fictional set of Star Wars directed by Alejandro Jodorowski. I really liked The Lego Movie, I saw it last night. I’m not sure if it matters if you watch Cinder Rubble or if instead you watch the Lego Movie or both or neither. If you already wasted your time reading this, then I would recommend watching neither, just dream your dream. Miyazaki also talks about the flood of media and wasting kids’ time, and how he hopes at least he is putting some good drinkable fresh water on the flood. I think he succeeds. Its amazing that so many people work together to make feature length movies. I appreciate that he took the time to write about his work. I’d be curious to know if there’s life in the flood and what a raft or a fish may look like.

I’ve also been wondering if there are Tardigrades inside me, working in my brain and DNA, and manipulating evolution and life since the beginning. And what is before stars? and how does evolution time flow from star to me and what makes it go? And when I make a trailer should I do a voice over? and what will it sound like? but what if its just music and sounds from the movie? I really want to make a trailer. I’m not sure what this is all about, but maybe this is at least proof that I’m trying to figure it out. A starting point + faultyness.

Afterword:
I was waking up one morning and maybe I was trying to come up with lyrics to the cinder rubble song or something and I thought Cinder Rubble is rock made from cut out paper. And I came up with this series of equations.
rock + paper = scissors

paper + scissors = rock

rock + scissors = paper

and if its x,y,z variable numbers, its true for

rock= +/-1   paper= +/-2     scissors= +/-3 

Me: “did you see cinder rubble?”
You: “yeah I liked the non-sense essay better” 

Me:  ”you mean the one that included this conversation?”

You: “thats the one” 

image

5. The Hierophant

A holy extraterrestrial blesses two adventurers, welcoming them to their rightful place among classics of holiness. He bridges the gap between the real world and fake world. He follows and advises with well laid out traditions, but sometimes creates new ones, like wearing rainbow pyramid hats during the induction ceremony. This is a time in your journey to welcome the classics and seek advice. You will find your own voice along the way, even if its just a faulty combination of Yoda and Grover.

"You be’d good. Home. Welcome."

course of action: watch your favorite cartoon and take notes

image

16. The Tower

A tower erected in commemoration of love, crumbles from the onslaught of the unicorn and his flying octopi minions. A lone cloaked goblin attempts to slay the dragon. Its far too late to save the castle. The disaster is suddenly clear. Honestly its really not a time for words.  

"Come back in a year, our ruins will be beautiful."

Course of action: Safety first

Waiting for the toast to toast

I’m working on a new short movie, “waiting for the toast to toast” here’s some evidence, right now I’m wrapping up shooting the Cinder Rubble story that is based off the puppet show of the same name I did last year.  

3. The empress 

A pregnant woman shrouded in hummingbirds carries a sloth and a mysterious multipurpose key to her kingdom. Useless servants air lift delicious snacks wherever she goes. At her feet two magic carps will meet and make more magics than they could have made on their own. Love beams and life beams radiate from mothers to babies and back again. Meanwhile bliss and abundance are wafting all around. What more could you need? go ahead and answer that question. The heart shaped cloud winks to seal the deal. 

"Oh, this is my key advisor "admiral sloth", check out his peace ribbon… he’s also my secret admirer."

Suggested course of action: Call the wind “mom” and take on the “treats only” policy.

11. Justice

Robe cop sits in his throne, quietly enjoying a balanced breakfast. The donut seeks the coffee, the dog seeks the newspaper, and the ghost prisoner seeks release from ghost jail. The lil’ Judger watches and judges silently from the scales of justice, which remain unplugged. What will happen if we plug in the scales of justice? Is there something so wrong and out of balance in the world? who is going to clean up that poop? Things will come into balance if you speak the truth. 
“The seagull on my mug says ‘carpe diem and set it free’”.
Suggested course of action: Observe the observers

11. Justice

Robe cop sits in his throne, quietly enjoying a balanced breakfast. The donut seeks the coffee, the dog seeks the newspaper, and the ghost prisoner seeks release from ghost jail. The lil’ Judger watches and judges silently from the scales of justice, which remain unplugged. What will happen if we plug in the scales of justice? Is there something so wrong and out of balance in the world? who is going to clean up that poop? Things will come into balance if you speak the truth.
“The seagull on my mug says ‘carpe diem and set it free’”.
Suggested course of action: Observe the observers

A person reflects the world in there own way, creating the stories of their lives. Just like the moon reflects light in its own way, naturally and magically changing shape, size, location, and color. Stories are natural magic, we live in the mythical world.
famous
17. The Star

A giant naked lady sits on a cloud under the stars. With one foot playing in a tree, she pours generous amounts of “water product” on the world below. Behold the stars, mysteries of fire and life, what would they be without the darkness? There is light in darkness, take calm now, there is hope. Think on the 8 pointed things of power and fortune, party hat, dunce cap, pizza slice, triangle flag, pine tree, pie slice, yield sign, and the eye of providence, these things combined make a star.   
 “sometimes we reach for the stars, but you don’t have to make it all the way in order to give something back… thanks ;)” 
Suggested course of action: Fart and laugh about it, or laugh until you fart on accident.

17. The Star

A giant naked lady sits on a cloud under the stars. With one foot playing in a tree, she pours generous amounts of “water product” on the world below. Behold the stars, mysteries of fire and life, what would they be without the darkness? There is light in darkness, take calm now, there is hope. Think on the 8 pointed things of power and fortune, party hat, dunce cap, pizza slice, triangle flag, pine tree, pie slice, yield sign, and the eye of providence, these things combined make a star.
“sometimes we reach for the stars, but you don’t have to make it all the way in order to give something back… thanks ;)”
Suggested course of action: Fart and laugh about it, or laugh until you fart on accident.

This project from the band Whelp is amazing, a comic and an album combo that is so sweet.

Clap your hands if your life is like Ziggy MMO

Clap your hands if your life is like Ziggy MMO

Tarot Tuesday
0. The Fool
A new guy of fortune and his little buddy plummet blindly toward destiny. Not a good role model. Where’s parachute? The Fool is the traveler of all the Tarot he has no context other than the folding and unfolding mysteries. A new beginning, no blame, no influence, what will arise? 
“You don’t need any reason, you should know that by now… but if you need a reason we could draw another card.” 
Suggested course of action: Take Nap

Tarot Tuesday
0. The Fool
A new guy of fortune and his little buddy plummet blindly toward destiny. Not a good role model. Where’s parachute? The Fool is the traveler of all the Tarot he has no context other than the folding and unfolding mysteries. A new beginning, no blame, no influence, what will arise?
“You don’t need any reason, you should know that by now… but if you need a reason we could draw another card.”
Suggested course of action: Take Nap

This is my best book, its the one I almost threw out the other day but instead I read it and it brought me a surprising joy. Enjoy! send in your reviews! http://www.flickr.com/photos/etcomics/12680060344/in/set-72157641317569414/lightbox/

This is my best book, its the one I almost threw out the other day but instead I read it and it brought me a surprising joy. Enjoy! send in your reviews! http://www.flickr.com/photos/etcomics/12680060344/in/set-72157641317569414/lightbox/